November Round Up!

November to say the least has been an interesting month. Mostly I have not been 
at lectures as I've been recovering from surgery and just reading the odd bit here and there. 

Along with the 13 line of Point Horror anthologies, I've read:

which I didn't know existed. It's a companion book to the Jennifer Lee "Midwife" series and written by her sister. It's an insight like no other into the Lee household and their childhood, or rather their lack of childhood. Without going into it and spoiling it too much, it's full of prolonged child abuse, domestic abuse and general toxicity. 

I feel for Christine because she was a nurse and never really seemed to enjoy it. Jennifer, I think was deep down a very lonely and quite frankly disturbed woman.

I felt angry for what could be considered as Christine and Jennifer perpetuating the abuse because they took their children into toxic homes.

I've never really felt disgusted by a book, but this one was grim. Read with caution is the suggestion here.

Other books in the pipeline to read are:

I can't wait!

I'll be catching up on work I've missed over the next month or so, which thankfully doesn't seem to be too much. I'm due feedback in my professional practice formative essay. Due in sat is 11th January so I'll hopefully have time to do any alterations and get it handed in early in the New Year!

The first month!

 This first month has been eventful to say the least. I'm writing this at the end of the fifth week so you can all be assured that l am still standing and student midwifery-ing.

Starting with the academia... I have begun Antenatal and Postnatal Care of Mother and Baby 1, Health and Wellbeing and Introduction to Professional Practice.  The first two are assessed practically, the last one is by 2000 word essay.

Like the last degree, I am infinitely more concerned about the practicals or OSSE as they are called here.

At times I'm feeling rather intimidated by the knowledge in the group and like I'll never ever know enough to qualify. Seeing the second years on our breastfeeding session just depressed me. Like, I'll never be as good as them.

Part of the sessions this week contained a link to a site, with a banner that l swear was the assistor of me down into the tunnel of postnatal depression. Seeing it in a non depressed state really brought up the Rage in me.

Where do I begin?!?! The cute blonde white girl? The perfect hourglass figured tops? The perfect garden? The make up? The statement that she's alpha? The smug smile? Or... or the halo?

It makes me wants to commit acts of random arson. 

Anyone, I'll stop before I get referred to the NMC for unprofessional online conduct.

Which segues me nicely into personal life. Back in the first week l underwent as LLETZ due to abnormal cervical smear. Although I didn't know it at the time, a biopsy was done and a microscopic area of cancer was found.

It's stage 1a1 and my choices were a request LLETZ or hysterectomy. Given my birthing days are done, my fiance wants no children together and I'd be worried a bit of it got missed and it was stoating off somewhere, l chose the hysterectomy.

It's an overnight stay on the local gynae ward so definitely back on the other end of the stethoscope again. As I have to be there for 0730 in the morning, I'm travelling up the night before and staying in a hotel. 

I just hope l don't feel too lonely on my own the night before.

Next week we start Clinical Skills. As of the 29th, I'll be on a months sick leave whilst I recover. Although I'm not allowed to attend a live online lecture, I can work and read at my own pace. I want to because I don't want to end up behind and on a back foot for placement.

In the words of looney tunes, that's all folks and I'll see you after the hysterectomy!

First week - done!

 

So the first week is in the bag! And courtesy of Confetti, Starshine (behind) and Parasol the first card of the milestone is up and achieved!

Monday was rather stressful because I'm a technical Luddite and Zoom was playing. Perhaps now is a good time to call myself that eponymous neo-maxi Zoom dweebie?

Tuesday and Wednesday went a helluva lot better although Zoom issues persisted overall for everyone. 

Most of the subjects covered were university generic ones like the SU and library services. 

Thursday I missed as I was having a LLETZ under general anaesthetic and as luck would have it, it was the most useful session as it went over Brightspace and placements. 

Thankfully having just completed a nursing degree, I'm sure a fair bit was transferable. I'll catch up on it from the recordings once they are uploaded.

So, today I spent time reading the adaptations to pregnancy chapter in Coad and Dunstall

in preparation for the upcoming Antenatal and Postnatal Care of Mother and Baby 1 unit on Monday.

Here's to a settled weekend!

The weekend before...

It's been a month since I've posted anything and it's definitely a liminal month, gradually psychologically sliding from full time registered nurse to student midwife. 

Funding and DBS are finally all in. The training grant and parental learning support took a while so it was good to see that done.

I bought myself a cheesy midwifery gift the other day:

It'll make for some interesting announcement graphics if nothing else!

Pre course reading

I've noticed that even though this might not be the most dazzling content filled blog, I've put more effort into it than my student nurse blog. This is no doubt saying something about my life overall and what l feel about midwife training!

Although, is train the right word? Is there a difference between train, learn, coach and mentor?

I'll pursue that line of thought later...

As part of my pre course reading, I've had to read the first chapter of:

It's a book I've had for a while now. It's written by various eminent people working within birth so each chapter has a different narrative style. The overriding feeling l get from this is that what is written in there is common sense and that it's a shame, to say the least, that the basic underlying issues causing the roar have still not been adequately addressed.

I've also finally laid my hands on a cheap copy of:

My fiance is very much into the Beats and associated psychedelia so by absorbing some of that culture I feel like I get this book a bit more on a cultural, rather than just a midwifery level.

According to my calculations, I have less than four weeks yesterday to go until I start! I have three shifts left at work before I start my annual leave.

I'm planning on starting jogging in September again and also maintaining my Callanetics regime so hopefully if I maintain before the course, it should be easier keeping it up down the line

DBS and Enrollment

It's pretty much as the title says... DBS underway and I've begun to enrol.

It feels like this is actually happening and I'm wondering exactly what I've gone and done with my life and that I need to see a phrenologist!

I feel a bit cautious about their online learning, mostly because I'm rather a technical Luddite and I just worry about any new system until I'm familiar with it.

I'm sure it will all become clear soon!

Clearing Clearances

This morning I've done my occupational health and DBS forms. Thankfully nothing on either to declare beyond a tendency to hayfever!

Hopefully the sign off for these won't take too long!

I still don't know where my placement is though. I'll ring them up later and chase that...

Study spaces

Yesterday I took delivery of this little bargain off a local selling group. It was precisely what I was looking for: a white corner desk!

I never really had a dedicated study space during my last degree. Mostly because the room this is in was my ex's computer room. I made do with the dining room table and precariously stacked books.

Most unis libraries have digital access so it wasn't too bad compared to my first time ever at uni, where not having dial up was VERY modern.

Less than six weeks to go...

Notices and new funding

Since my last post I've applied for the student loan via SFE and the Training Grant via NHS BSA.

Training Grant - isn't that just the bursary?!

It doesn't work as a bursary but call it a Grant and it does?!

The process was much simpler compared to three years ago. It felt like endless paperwork and sending off evidence in the post with a cover sheet. This was more like a few clicks, tippity tap and jobs a good 'un.

The UCAS embargo is on so won't hear about my placement until tomorrow I reckon. I hope so because it's the last piece of the puzzle I need...

Second post!

Hello once again! It's been a while since I've updated, mostly because I've not had much to say for myself on here. But, yes l have something blog worthy now!

In my previous post I mentioned how I'd appued to my local uni after the UCAS deadline. The application sat with this uni on an interview reserve list in case a space popped up.

It didn't and I was rejected by default, but it swas always a risk that was going to happen. However, they did say they'd guarantee me an interview for next cycle.

I then took another chance and contacted another nearby uni which is a 2 and a half hour drive to on theory days but placements are 90 mins hour forty five, unless I get one near the campus.

It took a while to get a response but on Thursday just gone I did my Zoom interview and on Friday morning, I found out that I HAVE BEEN ACCEPTED!!!!

Yes, I am as they say IN!

So after I'd barged in to tell my fiance (who was sitting on the toilet at the time!) and played suitably celebratory music on the way to work later that day, I felt something I've not felt for a long time.

That I'm totally where I'm meant to be.

That's pretty liberating as l normally feel nearly there, but now I feel Here. Wherever Here is...

Immediate steps have been to add the offer to UCAS, apply for my student loan and also to the NHS Learning Support Fund. Formerly known as the bursary. It all comes back around eventually at the end of the day!

Next step, hand my notice in at work :) This is going to surprise them a bit to say the least...

First post!

Good afternoon! This is the first post into my journey to becoming a midwife :) I hope it'll be useful for me as a reflective and journal therapy piece but also that someone may find it an interesting read themselves no matter where they are on their midwifery journey.

So, a bit about me :) I'm Manzanita, which isn't my real name but it's a name I have used online in one capacity or another. I'm 41 at the time of writing and I'm 2 months engaged and I have a 7 year old son. Plus one chinchilla and two Bengals.

Adorable and wonderful as they are, they are also the most wilful animals I've ever come across! They are not for the faint hearted.

I originally began my midwifery journey back in 2004 and I stepped off in 2005 because of well, life and never got back on in tube to qualify. At that time the NMC had the 5 year rule.

I've just qualified as an adult nurse and I'm working on a rehabilitation ward which is not where I ever envisaged myself being but a job came up on my final placement so I thought why not?

The itch of midwifery have never really left but I needed time to know if this was the right moment. 

I've begun by sending a post deadline into my local uni. I'm a one choice kind of girl because of where I live. So far, they're full but I'm on the reserve list for interview if a space becomes available :D

Wish me luck!